Turn the Golden Rule into the Platinum Rule

I have always been taught from a very young age, the Golden Rule.  We've all heard it before: "Treat others the way YOU want to be treated."  This means if you want people to be polite and kind to you, then you are to be polite and kind to other people.  If you want your neighbor to greet you everytime he sees you, then you greet your neighbor everytime you see them.  If you want people to open the door for you, then you should open the door for other people. If you want to be given a hug from every friend when you run into them, then you should give out hugs as well.  If you don't want to be given a hurry-up-you're-taking-too-long look at the check out line when you are scurrying through your coupons, then you shouldn't do that either.  You get the idea: it's all about empathisizing.  While this sounds great and worth practicing, let's just open our minds a bit and say perhaps your kind neighbor doesn't want to be greeted everytime you see him and asked, "how's the wife and kids doing?" (maybe there's a bitter divorce on the horizon or he may think you are just being a bit too nosey)...Let's also say that maybe not everyone wants to be greeted with a hug, perhaps they are just fighting off a bad cold and don't want to contaminate everyone.  The person in the elevator may not want to hear about your wild and crazy adventures from the night-before.  You may not realize it but your actions just may be turning people off.  The Golden Rule works only when other people want the same thing as you and want to be treated exactly the same way.  There's something a little more deeper that many of us haven't heard of before. 

It's the Platinum Rule: "Treat others the way THEY want to be treated."  This concept is often taught in business and leadership courses because it's highly service-oriented.  Let's take a step up the consideration ladder; afterall, people love to be considered and appreciated.  Why can't we do that for one another?  If you are not quite sure how the other person would like to be treated, why not ask them?  This opens up the communication lines as well.  Getting their feedback and input provides a high level of respect and it shows that you value them and their desires.  I love it when my friend invites me over for dinner but also asks me if what will be served at dinner is okay with me.  Everyone knows I'm not a picky eater and I absolutely love any kind of food.  But the fact that she took her consideration to the next level in asking me if the dinner entree was suitable for me.  What if I was allergic to some kind of vegetable or if I suddenly stopped eating meat that week(thank goodness that's not the case)?  Of course, I told her whatever was easiest for her to prepare and that I was just excited to have dinner with her and her family.  It's these simple acts of kindness we all should be striving for. 

The Platinum Rule is an especially helpful tool in relationships as well.  My husband works for a waste water treatment plant and when he gets home from work, he has expressed his desire to greet me with a kiss but is reluctant because of the odor he brings home from the plant.  As soon as he walks through the door, he immediately jumps in the shower.  After talking to him, I told him I didn't mind the smell and would rather be greeted with his kiss right when he got home after missing him the whole day.  Needless to say, my husband has gotten to know about the Platinum Rule very well.   

Now that I'm somewhat a grown-up, I know how important it is to not only empathize with other people but to also meet and exceed their expectations.  When you do an act of kindness for another being keep in mind the Platinum Rule as well and take it to another level.