There is no Mom book 101 that tells you everything you'll need to know. Every mommy is different and every baby is different. In my mom book 101 the first lesson would of been roller coasters are no longer your friends. lol My second lesson would be do not go to the grocery on thanksgiving day, that's just plain crazy. Of course, I was eighteen and I was on my own. This could be fun, lets go with it.

#3. When your child is crying because you have dry formula in your hand and he or she is hungry, do not be surprised when you all of the sudden feel the need to beat the shit out of the person in front of the line that went to the self check out with fifty different things and you were the last to know about it.

#4. You didn't know what outside looked like at two o'clock in the morning until your baby wanted a bottle

#5. Exercise isn't needed, just chasing your child around with his underwear on his head will be just enough for you

#6. Cooking is a passion for some people, techniques that are studied just right to get perfection, your food is a reflection of your studies, until you have a crying kid in the background, then you find out that fish sticks and french fries make the cut just fine

#7. Don't buy the toys that make the noise

#8  buying toy soldiers is fine, when you find the soldiers at midnight under your bare feet, thats when the kids learn the parents special alphabet

#9. If the teacher in physical ed said that sex would be non existent after children were born, do you think guys would of been in the condoms aisle more?

#10. When you lose your cellphone call it, if you cant hear it, check the fridge, oven, dogs house, dryer. When your kids diaper starts ringing proceed with caution.


I am always looking for more to put here so if you have any ideas please comment and I'll add yours to the list. please keep it clean!