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Surviving the pain
http://www.blog4change.org/articles/1512/1/Surviving-the-pain/Page1.html
By Amazing Grace
Published on 01/9/2010
 
Surviving the pain, raising my children, moving on and achieving my goals in life.

surviving the pain
Taking back from my last blog.  "Moving on".  I ended up in a very abusive relationship just to please my family.  This did not go well with me, I did my best to hold on for the sake of my little girl, but after sometime I decided enough was enough.  In the process I suffered depression, and all sorts of mental disorder due to the abuse.  But the cutting point came when i was told by my doctor that I should be prescribed some antidepressants, all this while I had tried to control my condition without medication and I had also worked in the hospital as a care assistant so I knew the effects of antideppresants.  I refused to take the medication and decided to take the matters into my own hands. 
The first thing i decided was to make sure I freed myself from the traps of the so called marriage that I was tied in.  On the night he hit me for one last time, I called the police and told them to take him away.  This man brought all the nightmares of my childhood back and I was not prepared to let them take control of me in my adult life.  I asked myself.... what kind of example am I setting my children by letting this man beat me red and blue??? was I saying to the boy that it is ok to hit women?? or was I telling the girl that it is ok for a man to hit you and you have to take it?? just so that the society can approve of you?? this what it comes down to in most cases,, so many women try to keep up the appearance and stay in abusive relationships. 
I decided there and then that enough was enough.  I filled for divorce and he refused to sign the papers, that did not break me at all, I was determined that however long it took for me to wait, I would not take him back.  Eventually after three years of battling the court just granted me the divorce.  He was surprised, because he actually believed that for as long as he continued to be stubborn I would have given in and take him back.  Throughout the waiting time he tried at every given opportunity to intimidate and demoralise me, but I stayed strong and charged on with life.  I found a new job and started part time studying.  I achieved my qualifications and got a better job that I had always wanted.  It's been more than 10years now, i raised my children by myself I am so proud of myself.  My son in now gone to university and I am extremelly proud of him, and my little girl is in secondary school her grades are above average and she is such a confident child.  I am happy and more fulfilled in my life than ever.  I would not trade my life for anything.  I do believe that everything that has happened in my life has been preparing for what I have become so far.  I do also believe that SKY is the limit and if you really do want to make it in this world you have got to keep going and never look back with regrets but see each and  every event in your life as a "BLESSING IN DISGUISE"
"BLESS YOU ALL VIRTUOUS WOMEN OUT THERE, JUST KNOW THAT THERE IS ALWAYS A BETTER TOMMOROW IF DO NOT LET YOUR GUARDS DOWN"
KEEP SMILLING EVEN IF YOUR HEART IS ON FIRE.