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A Bit More About Me
- By SimplyRaw VeganDoll
- Published 06/27/2009
- Changing Behavior
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Hello! I decided to make my first post be a little more in depth about me. I'm 19, soon to be 20 (on July 6th!), and I am so excited to say goodbye to my teenage years! I've always said that I think my 20s will be the best years of my life, and I still believe that. Reason being, my teenage years were quite traumatic for me. I think they would be for any adolescent girl who's forced to deal with what I dealt with on a daily basis.
I learned at a very young age just how powerful words truly are, and just how degrading they can be. From the young age of 13 until I moved away for college at age 18, I underwent the worst of verbal abuse imaginable... in my very own home. Needless to say, I suffered a lot, and the words led to me going through some horrific experiences, such as extreme dieting and unbelievably low self-esteem. I haven't a single doubt that if it wasn't for my friends, I may not be here today. I am so thankful for them. They've always been my rock; my everything.
I have always been very sensitive and known for being the nerdy, shy girl who's quiet, reserved, naive and innocent. With that being said, coming home to being called a "fat whore" and "stupid b*tch" every day definitely did some damage. It would do so to any young girl, I'd imagine. All my life, since age thirteen, I've nearly killed myself with dieting and unbelievable amounts of exercising. Going away to college was like going away to Heaven. I felt so loved there, not judged, and so free to just be me.
Coming home during the summer meant falling back into to old ways of starving and such. It was my only way of dealing with the fear of hearing family members say terrible things to me. Thankfully though, this summer is different. I'm finally seeing a light, and I'm trying harder than ever to change my ways... for myself this time, not for anyone else but me. I realized that all my time spent starving and working out endlessly was never to please myself. It was always to make others happy, specifically, my family, so that I wouldn't have to deal with the cruel criticism they'd place upon me anymore. I was never overweight. When the cruel words started coming my way, I was just average. I became dangerously underweight a few months before I left for college.
Now I'm back at a fairly normal size, of which I'm not exactly happy with at the moment. Instead of falling back into old habits though, I've decided to go about improving my body the right way this time. The way I see it, God is giving me a second chance. After reading lots of articles, studies, and even a few books, I've decided to convert from being a vegetarian to being a raw vegan. I'm so excited to start the transition! I'm mostly excited because of all of the health benefits. I wasn't raised in a healthy environment. Ironically, my family eats terribly and relies on endless pots of coffee to get through every day. Needless to say, I want to create my own healthy way of living. I know in my heart that there's no greater time to start than right now. :)
Growing up in the midst of terribly detrimental negativity made me extremely aware of everything I never want to be. Moving away to college was the best change of my life thus far. My roommate is an angel; she's the most optimistic person I've ever met. Talk about going from one extreme to the next! The effect of her kind words was (and still is) just as powerful as the negative ones I had dealt with for so long, but in an immeasurably better way!
I would love to help anyone who feels stuck in a position like the one I dealt with throughout all of my adolescent years. I want to instill hope where there is fear and provide a place of positivity and grace for anyone and everyone in need of an escape.
I love to write more than anything. It is the best release for me. I don't only write for myself, though. I write in hopes of helping others and showing them that I made it through my personal experience of hell, and that they can and will, too. :)
I learned at a very young age just how powerful words truly are, and just how degrading they can be. From the young age of 13 until I moved away for college at age 18, I underwent the worst of verbal abuse imaginable... in my very own home. Needless to say, I suffered a lot, and the words led to me going through some horrific experiences, such as extreme dieting and unbelievably low self-esteem. I haven't a single doubt that if it wasn't for my friends, I may not be here today. I am so thankful for them. They've always been my rock; my everything.
I have always been very sensitive and known for being the nerdy, shy girl who's quiet, reserved, naive and innocent. With that being said, coming home to being called a "fat whore" and "stupid b*tch" every day definitely did some damage. It would do so to any young girl, I'd imagine. All my life, since age thirteen, I've nearly killed myself with dieting and unbelievable amounts of exercising. Going away to college was like going away to Heaven. I felt so loved there, not judged, and so free to just be me.
Coming home during the summer meant falling back into to old ways of starving and such. It was my only way of dealing with the fear of hearing family members say terrible things to me. Thankfully though, this summer is different. I'm finally seeing a light, and I'm trying harder than ever to change my ways... for myself this time, not for anyone else but me. I realized that all my time spent starving and working out endlessly was never to please myself. It was always to make others happy, specifically, my family, so that I wouldn't have to deal with the cruel criticism they'd place upon me anymore. I was never overweight. When the cruel words started coming my way, I was just average. I became dangerously underweight a few months before I left for college.
Now I'm back at a fairly normal size, of which I'm not exactly happy with at the moment. Instead of falling back into old habits though, I've decided to go about improving my body the right way this time. The way I see it, God is giving me a second chance. After reading lots of articles, studies, and even a few books, I've decided to convert from being a vegetarian to being a raw vegan. I'm so excited to start the transition! I'm mostly excited because of all of the health benefits. I wasn't raised in a healthy environment. Ironically, my family eats terribly and relies on endless pots of coffee to get through every day. Needless to say, I want to create my own healthy way of living. I know in my heart that there's no greater time to start than right now. :)
Growing up in the midst of terribly detrimental negativity made me extremely aware of everything I never want to be. Moving away to college was the best change of my life thus far. My roommate is an angel; she's the most optimistic person I've ever met. Talk about going from one extreme to the next! The effect of her kind words was (and still is) just as powerful as the negative ones I had dealt with for so long, but in an immeasurably better way!
I would love to help anyone who feels stuck in a position like the one I dealt with throughout all of my adolescent years. I want to instill hope where there is fear and provide a place of positivity and grace for anyone and everyone in need of an escape.
I love to write more than anything. It is the best release for me. I don't only write for myself, though. I write in hopes of helping others and showing them that I made it through my personal experience of hell, and that they can and will, too. :)
