I keep thinking I'm going to "mature with age" as the saying goes.But, it hasn't happened yet.Why , I ask myself  do you not do what you know you should do ? Fear ? How can that be ? I'm over fifty , seven years to be exact .So, I should be wise , right ? Why , I even told other ladies in my position that they should have the courage to leave a situation that isn't good for them .So, why don't I do what  preach to others ? Oh, yeah, there it is again , fear.
 Being alone.Scary . Being broke , or poor , scary .But, I see that other women have had courage to be alone.And, broke or poor .Or, disabled .Why can't I ? But, "he" has control of me and what little money I can get.I have no money.Still other women have left.With no money.Why, can't I ?