Modern Mama

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To blog or not to blog?  That has been MY question for a while now.  After all, I am a parent and a teacher.  I may not have all the answers, but I seem to have a lot - and I'd love the opportunity to share my insights with others!  My children aren't perfect.  But, there is a distincc difference in how I treat their triumphs and tantrums from how many other parents do the same. 


It is of the utmost importance to remember that our children are acting out because they are out of balance.  They NEED something from us.  It could be somthing as simple as a nap or a snack or something as challenging as more one on one time or even simply to be heard or validated.

One of the most powerful things I have given my son is the ability to say, "I am angry."  We started when he was very little - as soon as he could speak and label his emotions, maybe around 18 months.  When he would display frustration, I would say to him, "I see you are angry right now because (fill in the blank...you can't have the toy, we need to leave the park, etc).  It is ok to be angry."  In doing so, he knew I recognizded his emotions, validated them and that his feelings were important.  That is not to say he'd get his way.  In fact, I'd usually follow up by saying something along the lines of, "...but it is time to leave" or "...but it is never ok to hit."  People thought I was nuts to use this kind of language with such a young child, but it has paid off.  Now, at 3, my son will tell me, "I am angry with you Mommy because..."  I allow him his anger.  By being able to express his emotions verbally, he is much less likely to act out physically.

Try it.  Allow your child to feel sad, angry, hurt, jealous.  It is okay for them to feel negative emotions!  After all, if we don't know what those concepts are and how to recognize them, how will we ever know joy, love, pride and peace?  Our gut reaction as parents is to protect them from negativity, but what are we doing for them in the long run when we take away these crucial elements of life?