DON'T BELIEVE IN YOUR FEAR!

DEAR FRIENDS -- A dear friend of mine is struggling to free herself of her lifetime of worry and fear. Originating in a severely abusive family, her fear has robbed her of inner peace and self-confidence and tragically limited her ability to love and be loved. Fear is a mortal wound that slowly drains our life without our recognizing that we are dying. When we end our denial and admit to ourselves that we are chronically afraid, we become self-rescuers and warriors for life and love. I would like to share a portion of my dialogue with my friend on the nature and healing of fear. I deeply hope that it helps you confront and heal the fear you hold and claim the love and joy you deserve. LOVE --BRYAN............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................ "Hey Bry -- What a weird night. I was up since 5 am! I was so afraid! I thought 'I am so alone and I always will be'. But rather than resisting the fear I let it flow and looked within at it. Underneath I found out that I'm afraid that I'm going to die! Then I had a dream about a lost group of children in a storm on another planet, looking for their way back. The kid was saying...'Dad,they moved the ship,now we won't find it and we will never come home'! I kept telling myself that I am not going to die...for two hours now. I know that all this fear has always been there and I'm feeling it now because of letting down the old defenses, the armor. As a child one gets too terrified without it. I know you are still there for me.....right? This shows the mechanism and why it gets so insane. I am fighting to live even though I am healthy and my life is fine. Love, ___"................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................ Dear ___ It was a major turning point in my life when I realized: 1. I was afraid ALL THE TIME -- and had been since I was a child. 2. None of my fears were real -- it was all just a habit of tensing up that began in early scary experiences and stayed in my body. 3. Like any habit, the fear could be slowly and permanently LET DOWN and released. Hope you are feeling some peace after such a disturbing night. It's so important that you see where the fear is coming from and that it's not related to your life now. Keep working with it and it will definitely shift. LOVE -- BRY................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................ "Hey Bry -- How did you come up with knowing that the fear is reversible? You must have been in such terrible pain that the only thing left to do was go in and search...which is the most honest thing to do. How did you manage to stop yourself and realize that the fear isn't real? How did you go from total tortured emotional and physical pain to believing that it's worth saving you and worth trying to become free...? You are very strong and I love you and admire you for that. Time to go sleep...have a good night. Love -- ___"................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................ Dear ___ --Boy, you asked the two basic questions all right! "How did you come up with knowing that the fear is reversible?" and "How did you go from total tortured emotional and physical pain to believing that its worth saving you and worth trying to become free...?" Those two questions go right to the heart of any true spiritual path. That is, a path that really sets you free and doesn't substitute one set of illusions for another. In terms of my recognizing the unreality of my fear, a number of factors contributed to that awakening. The most important thing was that my awareness was grounded very deeply in my body. Years of yoga, zen meditation and connecting to my feelings via bioenergetic work gave me the ability to observe my thoughts and more importantly deeply feel the fearful tensing of my body. It was astounding to discover that I had been in the grip of fear all my life and that my mind had failed to recognize such an obvious truth. That's how powerful our emotional defenses are. Now I know that most people are deeply afraid, on an unconscious level, and spend their lives imprisoned behind invisible walls. Next, I realized that my body was in a state of fear and tension regardless of the outer/objective circumstances of my life. Whether I was rich or poor, succeeding in my endeavors or failing, alone or in a loving relationship -- my chronic fear was still there! I watched the worrying thoughts and the clenching of fear in my body as the days and months went by. As circumstances changed, as I won and lost, the fear remained. From this close self-observation I had to conclude that my fear was not really a response to my external circumstances, but rather a deeply held mental and bodily habit. Any habit can be changed, if a degree of persistence and attention equal to the intensity of the habit are applied. I realized that I could never be completely happy and at peace while my body and mind were enslaved by fear. So I made it the deepest purpose of my life to set myself free. And over the course of months and years, I felt and released my body ever more deeply until the habit of fear was gone. And what remained was a profound peace, and the original state of love and trust in which we are all born. As I've said, this was the work of years and it took all my courage and devotion to stay on the path. What motivated me to walk through the fire and struggle to be reborn? Well, to begin with the physical and emotional torment was so extreme that I was either going to kill myself or walk the long road to freedom. And when I thought of killing myself -- and how much I longed for death and the end of my suffering -- my heart said no. In my mind a vision of the child I once had been came to me. He had been mortally wounded, betrayed and abandoned. Only my choice to live and to love could redeem him -- and myself. It is the nature of the heart to turn toward life and love. Loving myself and reaching for life, no matter what the odds, was the path of the heart that set me free. There is so much more to say, but I hope my story helps you in the struggle to heal your fear. Going within to feel and release your fear is the ultimate act of self-love. Believe that you were born to be free, stay on the path, and nothing can stop you. Talk to you soon. I love you! BRY