I never wanted to be in a situation where I would have to see the Ultra sound technician who is over all the high risk pregnancy cases. Well unfortunately this last week I started having troubles with my pregnancy. I went in and met this technician who was so kind and trying his best to make a good situation out of something that could be very disheartening. He was sure that he would be delivering good news because he had been giving bad news all week. He began the ultrasound and found the baby. There was movement! We were both so excited. However he was unable to find a heart beat and when he turned the censor that shows where blood flow is, we both realized that the movement was being caused by the blood flow.

The tears began to flow, he seemed devastated that he had to deliver the bad news. It was almost harder for me to listen to him have to give me bad news than it was to hear that my baby had indeed passed on. He tried to comfort me, I tried to not cry, however by the end of the appointment he was consoling me and reminding me that it wasn't my fault.

I am amazed at how much these technicians have to endure. As I returned today to see how things were progressing, he came in and did another ultrasound to make sure things were going well. The baby was still there and I asked him to take a picture for me so I could have a picture to remember the baby. He was so willing to do it. It was an amazing thing. He was so kind and loving. He got a great shot of the baby.

He had my doctor come in to verify his findings. My doctor is another Fine man who is very kind and loving and feels so much pain when he has to deliver bad news. He was very helpful in giving me suggestions as to what I have to do. However it was the man who did the ultrasound who was still there after the doctor left to console me once again.

How is it that this man could be so patient and loving and kind after thirty years of delivering bad news to people. THIRTY YEARS!  I have a great respect for him and what he has to do. I am sad that I lost the baby but his kind loving spirit helped me and he made getting through this tough time a little bit easier.

I just want to say thank you to this man and this is the only way I know how to do that.

Finding Strength