Kim DuBois

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Good relationships are like good blue jeans. 

When you find the right ones, they fit perfectly.  They are comfortable, you look good, and love wearing them.  Amazing jeans will compliment your natural curves and shape, highlighting the finer points of your physique.  They don’t change or transform you into something you’re not; they accentuate what you already have.

But let’s face it, at the end of the day no matter how awesome the jeans, if you’re 10 pounds overweight, you’re 10 pounds overweight.   At this point it’s not about finding a better or different pair of jeans, it’s about you doing something to change what you don’t like. 

A good relationship is much the same.  The perfect partner feels good.  Your time together is comfortable and you love your energy when they’re around.  You personality’s complement each other, bringing out the best in both of you.

Just like your weight, being with this person won’t change the deeper truths of your life.  With or without this person, you are who you are.  All your fears, insecurities, anxieties and issues still exist, whether this person is by your side or not.  And no matter how many different partners you ‘try on’, you’ll bring those issues into every relationship until you do the inner work to resolve them.

Too many people project what is wrong with their lives outside of them.  Moving from job to job, house to house or relationship to relationship, they hope each time that a different situation will yield different results.  But the common denominator is always you.

Don’t look to your clothes to change your body’s shape or weight, and don’t look to another person to heal what is wounded inside you.  Your happiness is not up to anyone (or anything) else.  It’s up to you.