Annoyed by Company

Have you ever had a weak, well meaning moment invited a friend to come and stay with you for a week and ended up regretting it? By the end of the visit you can't wait to drop them off at the airport. Then you are followed by regret and guilt leaving you feeling awful inside when you really meant to do a good thing. A friend of mine had just such an experience and sharred it with me. At first she was sure that the friend had done something to create the annoyance, but after further examiniation it became clear that that was really not the case. It seems that my friend has a habit of being kind and trying to help others, so much so that she pushes things on herself to the point of creating annoyance. So why would it be a surprise that she would attract a long list of people who push themselves onto her and take advantage of her good nature? Every year the same friend comes for a visit, my friend has to quit all of her activities and provide entertainment for her. The first few days she does ok with it, but by the end of the week she is just plain irritated. Now, she decides she is a terrible friend and not a very nice person on top of it because her friend really hasn't done anything wrong that she can put her finger on. I told my friend that there are really two of you, there is you in your physical experience, your human side and then there is you in your spirit or non-physical side. Feeling good is a delicate balance of both sides. Ignoring your emotions or blamming yourself unnecessarily is not a good way to stay in balance. I suggested that maybe it is time for some honesty with her friend and that although they do have fun together maybe a visit every year for a week is a bit much. Maybe a partical week or doing it every couple of years would create more balance with in her. When something starts out as an offerring it feels good and there is an even exchange of energy, but when time goes on and things are taken for granted and are expected the energy becomes stagnant. I assurred her that she was not a bad person and that anyone who had a regular visitor for a week a year would become irritated after awhile. The irritation was more tied into her ignoring her own needs and wants than having anything to do with her friend. When someone takes advantage of you there is a very good chance that they know they are doing it. Sometimes people are willing to ignore others feelings in order to get what they want or have a good time themselves. A good friendship has a sensing and feeling mechanism on both sides where both the visitor and the visited knows what it is like to be in both positions. When this happens the guest will decline a visit one year or do something special for the person who is making the offerring and in this way remove the factor of one doing too much and restore balance to the relationship. After talking my friend began to see a pattern in herself that she had to take care of or provide something for people or she was not a good person. Based on this belief she had more than her fair share of takers. It's ok to set boundaries, it's ok to say no, and paying attention to how you feel let;s you know when it is time to do that.