WHEN YOUR FRIENDS AND LOVED ONES WON'T LET YOU HELP.....

DEAR FRIENDS- Many of us- perhaps all of us! - who have looked within and embraced the need for positive change in our lives have experienced frustration and disappointment as we try to inspire others to do the same. We can lose heart, and stop trying to spread our light, if these repeated frustrations weigh our spirits down.
To support you in your efforts to keep expressing your excitement and passion for helping yourself, others and the world, I'd like to share this dialogue between myself and a friend. About how to understand people's resistance to good changes- and how to work with our own emotional reactions to "running into a wall" with people we love and care about.
"HI BRYAN-  I  wanted to drop you a note and let you know that I will always remember you for the rest of my life. Your blog posts have changed my life and I only hope that others have been affected as I have.
Unfortunately, I have found that you must have a truly willing and open soul for true change to happen, as I have suggested your blog posts to my friends and family and they simply do not want to feel better, or feel happy. This repeated disappointment lessens my fervor to keep reaching out to people with the great things I'm discovering. It is too discouraging to see so clearly, and to know what could help, and then watch people repeat the same bad choices they always have, and thus remain in the same miserable, unhappy, and anxious state they always have known."
This is how I replied: "DEAR ___ - I very much sympathize. What you need to understand is that people's dysfunctional behavior and unhappy feelings and attitudes are the result of the pain and fear they carry. When presented with a chance to improve their situation, unconsciously people think like this: 'I have survived this way, ever since I was a child. I can cope and go on like this....... but if I open up, maybe I won't be able to cope. Or maybe the pain I'm suppressing through how I've coped so far will come forth. So I'd better stay put, and survive albeit in unhappiness.......'
When seen with this clarity it's still sad and frustrating to see the people we care about wasting their chance to heal and become happy. But with this wise and compassionate insight our own hearts stay open, and we don't become bitter about it- because we see the pain behind their poor choices. See what I mean?
This perspective is also liberating because it helps US when we ourselves are 'stuck' and having difficulty making positive changes. We see the pain/fear in ourselves that makes us hesitate, and we can stay patient and kind to ourselves until we are ready to make the leap forward.
Having been so wounded myself, and having no illusions about how wounded people and the world are, I have come to see that patience and kindness are needed in great supply. Beginning with granting those qualities toward ourselves".
So keep the faith, my dear friends- stay patient and kind with yourselves, with those who are 'stuck', and with this wounded world we love so much and are working to heal. Keep your hearts open, and be like the Sun- blazing forth with your light, because it is your nature to do so. And never doubt that the love you send out is the strongest force in the world- and that surely, love will overcome and win in the end. Believe it! LOTS OF LOVE- BRYAN