It is a wonderful feeling to watch our children succeed in everything. It is usually great as most of the time it is serving our ego. Most of the time when our children succeed in anything we brag about it with everyone. In the meantime, the child goes about his way playing or doing any other activity not even thinking about the "importance" of his or her great success. Of course they receive the typical praise to enforce their self esteem and to do the same or even better the next time.
What happens when the child doesn't succeed? Are we empowering our children the same way when they don't?
Are we still doing our job as parents when things go in a different direction?
From what I observe in the majority of cases, parents tend to forget that their job is to help empower their children to grow and learn from all experiences in life. It is not to turn children into a model of what they want or would have wanted to be in life. This could be a very negative and dangerous approach when we attempt to turn our children into what we want.
We must accept that our children come with their own talents, strengths and weaknesses and not all will want to follow our same path, career or interests. The idea is to be aware of the direction they are taking and empower, encourage and support them to be the best they can be in making their dreams come true. Of course, we are their guides and counselors, but we must be careful that when guiding we don't become masters of their life.
My parents always told my sister and I that we must do whatever made us happy. They said that if we followed our happiness, then anything we did would be done right and would become a success. We were always guided to follow a good and positive path and I can say that for us it was easy to find our calling in life.
When we empower and guide our children to help them achieve their purpose in life; we create a sense of confidence, well-being and responsibility that will help them make the right decisions. That is really our job as parents. The word "mom" or "dad" is just a title. We are really teachers to our children with the responsibility of teaching how to build character, self-esteem, discipline and a great sense of accountability as members of our community.
The teachers are not only in school, the work continues in the home. The difference is that we must do it with unconditional love, lots of hugs and kisses.
Never forget that when our child "loses" the next game...it is only part of the learning process. Never let your ego take over the experience of your child and make positive out of every opportunity to grow as your kid's most important mentor!!
Remember, our words become an imprint in our children's lives.
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