Chruszhet Lucero

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We all, at one point or another, were halted by a certain someone in our lives who had a complete hold of our being, whether it be a significant other, a close friend, a family member, co-worker, or employer.  You are the one most people request favors from because those around you know that you are always willing and able.  You run their errands, you babysit, you drive people around town, and you even get volunteered for tasks without you knowing.  You are probably known to be the most forgiving and kind person, right?  Others have taken your kindness as your weakness and now you are just about fed up or have been fed up for quite some time.  But for some reason, we can't seem to shake them and their behavior from affecting our lives.  Although we have a strong desire to cut the relationship altogether due to their toxic behavior, we just don't know how or when this will happen. If you don't have that energy-draining person in your life, kudos to you and that means you have managed to erase them from your circle.  But you also know that you reached that point at some time in the past and you were questioning yourself the same question that most of us face.  When do we stop letting the other person use us as their daily doormat and start respecting ourselves?

Each one of us has a different concept of the word "value" and how much we "value" the relationship we have with the other person.  How much we value the relationship also has a direct correlation to how much "mistreatment" we are willing to take to keep that relationship.  Sometimes we will lose our selves unknowingly because we have a strong "hold" to whatever keeps us connected to the other person.  Why haven't you let go? 

People fear the concept of appearing "selfish" more than they want to embrace the concept of "self-respect".  I'm guilty of it myself.  We must all start looking after ourselves first and foremost.  This doesn't mean that we are selfish, we just need to respect ourselves more.  In talking with someone yesterday, I learned that we must ask ourselves a personal question, "When will enough be enough?"  If we continue to let that type of behavior continue, we will end up feeling resentful and disappointed with ourselves.  We must tell ourselves at what point will we draw the line.  After you have confirmed that with yourself, tell that person who has been that "dead wood" in your river of life at what point you will cut it off completely.  Be serious about it and follow through, otherwise the other person will just call your bluff.

It is never okay to allow another being to slander you, degrade you, emotionally, verbally, and physically hurt you.  Nor is it okay to allow them to take advantage of you and your abilities over and over.  Setting healthy boundaries is important for your sanity and for those who don't understand limits until you mark it in chalk.  Believe me there are those out there.  They may have the best intentions and they think they know you are okay with how things are going but never underestimate the power of honesty.  Be upfront and honest about your demands of respect.  Don't allow them to make you feel guilty about your decisions.  If they clearly don't have enough respect for you to understand your wants and needs, end the relationship completely.  "You" are the one you will be with for the rest of your life.  Treat "You" with the utmost respect.